During one of my many workshops and conferences that I’ve attended over the years, I once heard someone say that your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness. I kind of understood this at the time and over the years it’s become something that I’ve strongly believed in.
I see it frequently with my clients – in fact, as part of the Cracking Confidence Workshop I ask all attendees to complete a questionnaire and rarely does this truth not appear.
For issues of confidence and self-esteem, it’s frequently true that people act in order to be liked and to have others think of them as nice people. The great strength is that they show care, attention and affection to other people, they listen and understand the other’s problems and issues and make considerable effort to help the other person out.
On the flip side, the great weakness that this brings with it is the fact that they are frequently put upon and expected to be there for others – often with no reciprocation at all. This can lead to being overworked, undervalued and ultimately to resentment.
There are so many other examples of this – for example those people who are really great at being organised, to the minutest detail, something so many of us would love to be good at… however on the flip side, they have big challenges and difficulties when things don’t go to plan. They find it really difficult to live with uncertainty and to be flexible if things change without warning.
It’s really healthy to know what your strengths are and I certainly recommend that you celebrate these facets of yourself. The key to self-improvement sometimes lies in looking at what the flip side (great weaknesses) of your great strengths is – to see if there are things you can learn that will enhance your unique skills and abilities.
Very interesting. I just read the post and tend to agree. So I guess that being “too much” of anything is frequently not good. So if you’re organized but not too much it’ll be easier to balance what you expect from others. Also I guess it’ll help just managing the expectations of what you expect from others in order to be prepared, so your strength doesn’t become a weakness.
Thanks Ocio. It’s pretty tricky to not go overboard with your strengths – best to keep questioning them rather than trying to rein them in!
Dan,
“your greatest strength is your greatest weakness” has been my motto ever since i can remember. I have so many examples of my weaknesses becoming my strengths i tryly believe in this. I actually enjoy the learning curve now of over coming difficult situations.
My own sons are living examples. I have one son whom seems to excel at everything he tries while the other who has a hard time at doing the smallest tasks.
My stronger more gifted son, will fold under the pressure if something is too hard and move on. My less gifted son, will keep trying and trying and trying. He is just used to trying hard, failing and trying again. It doesn’t phase him anymore. . I made the mistake of not pushing my more gifted son when he faced difficulties because i thought, “well, he’s got straight A’s, he completes all his work and then some, he does everything he is supposed to.” . Now, we’re trying to push him a little and he’s learning to deal with failure but it’s hard for him. He often gives up. It’s frustrating but i don’t want to send him into the world without at least trying to teach him to keep trying when he doesn’t succeed. Not to give up so easily. I DIGRESS.
Thanks for the article. Annie
I learned a long time that we need to challenge ourselves constantly
Hi Annie,
Nice to see you here! It’s amazing with children as they are so different and often it’s so easy to see how we have played our part in shaping them to become who they are. We’ve been very careful to choose certain things for our children, they are still very young, however I am fully aware of the limitations as well as the benefits that we are giving them! I think it’s best to do your own best and if there are things that they have to go through and work out when they are older, that’s ok! We’ve all done it! My guess is that you aren’t going to lose too much sleep over this, and having come to know a little about your life story, it’s clear that the thing they will all take from you is the attitude and approach to life that you take!
There’s a little voice in my head screaming, “Wouldn’t it be great to bring them up perfectly though!!!”
Kind regards, Dan
Great article. It’s true that even ones greatest strength will still have their weaknesses, in one form or another. There seems to be too much of an emphasis on improving ones weaknesses as well, to make them strong in all areas, but in my experience this just makes them week all-around. A great strength should be celebrated and – most importantly – worked on and not forgotten.
Great point Steven. It’s easier, more rewarding and fun to work on your strengths too! Plus, if you are working on strengths, alongside your weaknesses, you are going to notice the difference pretty quickly.
I personally think that the most powerful individuals are familiar with their weakest sides even more than with their total advantages. It’s not surprising that one of the most ancient Chinese wise quotations claims: “It’s not a tragedy if you lose, a real disaster comes when you don’t understand why it happens”. I agree with the idea from the post. Good job!
Thanks Max, that’s a great quotation too!
Funny how this argument can also go the other way. Take for example my experience back at high school. I never like math, in fact, it halted me several times to get to the first best 10. But when I took the challenge, my greatest weakness on math become my greatest strength that I was even sent to other school to compete.
Good point! It can really propel you to overcome your weaknesses if you take hold of a challenge and really work at it.
Also a standard interview question isn’t it. The answer often would reveal a lot about that person, insecurities, etc. You have a point about the flip side of every good quality. I now feel much better leaving my house in a disorganised mess
George from WeCruise recently posted..P&O Cruises 7 December 2012 for 14 nights.
Hi George, so glad to be a part of your mess!
I think it’s good to bask in our weakness and hold a certain humility as it grounds us. Likewise it’s better to focus on our strengths rather than trying to bring up our weaknesses. This leads to mediocrity. Great post Dan. Good insights
~ Chris
Thanks Chris.