We all do! We’re born happy, so how come most people aren’t?
There’s a misguided belief that is rife in the world today and that’s the belief that…
“Happiness is difficult (or impossible) to achieve”
I’m here to tell you (like so many others before me who understood this stuff) that you can be happy whenever you want to be happy. It’s simply a choice! There are so many challenges in our lives that we label as “difficulties” or “problems”. In fact, the truth is that it’s only a problem if you say it is. Problems put you into a state of panic and fear and this takes away your creativity and resourcefulness. This is like trying to climb over a 20 foot wall – without resources and creativity, how do you expect to get over it?
How can I be happy?
When we label things as “challenges” on the other hand, it puts us into a state where we can easily access our knowledge, reasoning skills and other resources and are much more likely to get through them. Like climbing over a 20 foot wall with a big ladder, some safety equipment and a large crash mat to help you.
It’s this kind of thinking that leads us to believe that it’s hard, or even worse, that it’s impossible to be happy. The “why me?” attitude is another example – it leads you to blame the world, instead of working out the “how can I?” – which is a much better approach.
If you are finding life tough, it’s likely that you are simply thinking that it’s tough and if you start to change your labels for things, you can find new strength and resources within you that can turn your life around for ever. The way we think and the way we label things in our life has a huge bearing on the outcome of our lives.
So you’re basically saying that happiness is just an attitude shift. Changing your thoughts from “Why me” to “How can I make this perfect?” or “How can I complete this challenge?”. I think it’s a good idea, but it’s a temporary fix for me. I’m very realistic, and to an extent nihilistic as well, and I can’t delude myself for that long… it’s self-delusion to me. I know there are some things that are just unfair in my life, and there’s nuthing I can do about it.
Thanks Henway. Happiness is a choice. In making that choice, it’s hard to ask why me questions because they don’t make you happy! The unfair things, are all yours to label as you wish. Obviously there is a case that there are things in life that you cannot change – it’s important not to waste your time trying to change them. However, how you react to these “unfair” things, is totally yours to do with as you will.
Yup, happiness is hard to get thats why we will cherish it when we get it. If you could get happines easily, I think that is not real happiness.
We should enjoy this process when we struggle for happiness. More simple, more happier. Sometimes, we should control our desires which makes us exhausted.
We need more articles to talk about our heart, our spiritual wealth.
Happiness is not hard to get… it’s hard to keep!
My biggest challenge is having high expectations about being happy all the time. You’re right about it being what we focus on. Happiness is a choice and when I focus on what I’m grateful for having and not for what I’m ungrateful for happening to me then I tend to realize how good of a life I have. Gratitude lists are pretty good too.
That’s an interesting thought – high expectations about being happy all the time. It’s much easier to know that you can be happy when you want to be! There are times when you certainly aren’t going to want to be happy – like when a loved one dies etc. However, you can find things to be happy about within that situation, even though you’ll also want to feel sad and grief.
After watching The Secret I realized that I had a lot more control over my life and how I experience it than what I thought. I immediately stopped saying and thinking negative things like “I am soooooo tired” and replaced them with things like “I am happy” (even when I wasn’t feeling particularly happy). I cannot tell you how much of an impact this has had on my life! I can honestly say that I am a much happier person today because of this small change. Thanks for the great blog by the way!
Thanks Keith, that’s really good advice.
Being happy is really a choice. If you don’t want to be happy, that’s your choice too. It’s just a matter on how you handle situations that will make you happy or sad. There are a lot of things that makes us happy that’s why we should hold on to it and enjoy it.
Hi Mitch, thanks for your comment – I’m interested to see that you subscribe to the “things make us happy” mindset… that’s something I really disagree with!
HappINess is an inside job which explains why INspiration and INsight touch us so much. The only way we ever need to activate happiness is to allow it to exist. Think about your life now – then imagine being very ill in hospital, being stranded far way from your home and those you love, or getting caught up in a natural disaster or atrocity. Where would you want to be? Right where you currently are. Now, how much happiness do you have? Exactly!!!
Thanks for your insights John.