Something I hear a lot in coaching circles is this idea of being “happy in the not-knowing”. To me it’s like having no expectation or opinion about something you really have no idea about. Examples of this situation include going on a date, a business or sales meeting, a reunion etc. Simply situations where an outcome is not certain, although one or several may be desired.
If you enter into these situations happy in the not-knowing of an outcome, you are able to detach yourself from the outcome and really be yourself. There is a great power in this place – not power in the sense of power over someone or something, but power over yourself. It really is a wonderful place to be – to be truly you is to experience yourself as you really are in that moment.
It’s not an easy thing to do, we have a bunch of limiting beliefs, past experiences, dreams, hormones, desires and other thoughts and things that get in the way. It takes discipline and practice and I’m not suggesting for a second that I’m an expert – it’s just as tough for me!
I encourage my coachees to have this attitude and it seems to me that those who can be happy in the not-knowing have more successful experiences in their sessions. (Although of course success is subjective and I understand it is only my opinion here.)
Try it – if it works for you, practice and enjoy it! If not, then that’s great too.
As always I love to read your comments and feedback – click the comments link below to leave your comments.
I also fully agree with this and have found truth in this. Your expectation or anticipation determines your reality.
Very true. Most people work them self up over somethings and make it hard to enjoy the event. You can phsyc yourself out and think it will be no fun and you will not have fun or say why not lets see how it goes.
Dan O’Neil says… Good points, thanks Ken.