Most people have a problem handling criticism. Lets face it, the vast majority of the criticism that you have to put up with is at best just rudeness. Every now and again, you’ll meet someone who is pretty direct, but somehow you find yourself respecting them and it doesn’t seem like it’s personal. Rare I know, but these people do exist…
So what makes for great criticism? Well first on the list is that it is specific enough to point at the problem… rather than being delivered as a personal insult. For example, “This report is useless” (or worse) compared to, “There’s a few spelling mistakes in this report that I’d like you to tidy up.” The former makes you feel as though the person is calling you useless, whereas the latter focuses on the actual problem – the report is not useless (neither are you), it just has a few spelling mistakes in it.
Secondly, criticism is frequently delivered in public, in front of your peers and other work colleagues. This is particularly brutal since there’s not much you can do to look good in this situation. Ideally, criticism should be dealt with in private with a degree of confidentiality.
Thirdly, great criticism will have an element of what the person is doing well wrapped around it. For example, “I’m really pleased with the level of detail you’ve put into this report John, now if you can make improvements to your conclusions it will be a great piece of work.”
Next is the detail. Similarly to criticism being an insult, often there is no substance to it – it is delivered in a vague way and there’s no way to really know what you are being criticised for. To be effective, criticism must point to the actual problem, it must have enough detail to help the intended recipient understand what is required of them…
Which leads me to the last point… Great criticism points to the solution, although it doesn’t necessarily include the solution. We all need enough of a pointer to be able to make a start, but there’s no growth in having the whole solution given to us.
People who are great at criticising will rarely have their criticism perceived as criticism at all. They artfully deliver enough information to us to help us make improvements to ourselves, our actions and our work. So if you have to criticise others, remember the simple rules:
- Keep it focused on the behaviour (not on the person)
- Ensure you give clarity and enough detail to indicate where the problem lies
- Wrap your criticism with positive points (what is good already)
- Keep it private
- Give them enough information that they can solve the problem themselves without you doing it for them
It’s great you’ve writtent this article. I am a huge fan of constructive criticism, it’s what makes us better people but unfortunately I get sick of comments which are unjustified and just voice an opinion. It’s not that I don’t value an opinion, it’s just every opinion is usually backed by some reason so if you’re going to critisise someone…JUSTIFY YOUR CIRITISISM!!
Thanks for your feedback, there’s so little constructive criticism in the world… If we kept our non-constructive opinions to ourselves, things would work a lot smoother!
true.. there isn’t enough constructive criticism out there…
negative criticism does a lot of harm especially for someone who already has difficulty believing in themselves..
But I will say this too, someone constructive criticism is also taken in a bad light… People begin to not like you when you’re honest with them and point out where they need improvement. Happens to me all the time
Thanks Asim,
It’s always in the approach – if you are being honest with someone and they don’t like it, it’s either because you’ve poked your nose in where it isn’t wanted, or you’re being too direct and not giving people a vision of how the changes will help them to be more productive, or be a better person.
Hey Dan,
I love the way you laid this out. It will help you to keep the friends you have and probably make more. Privacy is big. And also, a gentle approach can win the day. At certain times a person may not be ready to listen, but if you make your points well, they just might come around.
Live it LOUD!
Hi Rob,
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I like the addition of the gentle approach – particularly remaining calm.
Cheers, Dan
This is a really great point Dan. Most of us don’t take (or give) criticism very well, in many cases it’s because of the way it’s delivered. I remember a recent criticism I made where I did not address the behavior. Instead made an overall judgement, which I now know was perceived as a personal attack. It did not go well, it only hurt the person and I’m sure gave a bad impression of myself. I simply received an email reply from that person defending everything I criticized. Not the way criticism should be given or received.
Since then, I always try to to think more about how the other person will perceive my criticism before making it. I also believe that with every criticism a possible solution should be offered.
I also think whether or not you are going to criticize, you need to first address the fact that the person has put effort into whatever it is they are doing, and be on the same team, with the goal of making improvements.
There really is so much that can be said about criticism, I’m glad you opened up this topic for discussion.
Great blog btw.
Matt
Hi Matt, how great that you got to find out live in the field and have been able to come up with your own strategy for this. I’m not against offering a solution every time, although it’s not my own preference. I think that you can generate unnecessary neediness in a person if you always offer up a solution. Some people need the space to come up with their own solutions without always being bailed out.
Cheers, Dan
Good point Dan, I think “solution” may have been the wrong word. I think what I mean is that with any criticism given, first as Dia mentions below it should be constructive.
Hi Dan,
Nice post! The best way to give criticism is to give a constructive criticism. If the person doesn’t have anything positive to say, then in many cases, it is better to remain silent. A constructive criticism helps the other person improves and makes a positive difference in his/her life. Thanks for sharing
That reminds me of what my parents used to say… If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t bother to say it! Thanks Dia.
“People who are great at criticising will rarely have their criticism perceived as criticism at all” says it all. For people who just criticize without being constructive, call ‘em what they are: Nay Sayers. I really dislike them. Naysaying is easy and I can naysay myself better than anyone else. What I want from others is help in the “Here’s how we get it working” part, not the “This sucks” part. Love your site!
We are indeed our own best naysayers! I love the simple way you spell out what you want.
Thanks Alex, I love your site too!
Great points here.
In one person’s lifetime it is impossible that we won’t any receive harsh and sincere criticisms whether at home, work or at school. We, people are naturally GOOD when it comes to pointing out other people’s fault. So basically, we should really learn how to determine those real and encourages growth; and those that are simply said just to hold you down. Or else, you’ll get overwhelm with all those words that are meant to destroy you.
Thanks. One of the things I always wonder is the intentions of people who criticise others. I’m pretty sure that for 99.9% of people, their intention is to help, however badly it may appear to come across. If you can make this an assumption in your life, it frees you from the need to prod back at them! I genuinely believe that people don’t mean to destroy you with their criticism – also if that’s true, it helps you to remain free!